The Last Census

WOULD you believe it, as a result of the last census, they sent back my form.

In answer to the question, ‘Do I have any dependents?’ I answered, ‘Yes’ and listed them: Asylum-seekers, illegal immigrants, dole-bludgers, smack-heads, recidivists (convicted criminals who reoffend), career single-mums, public-fund supported alternative life-stylers, the ABC, State and Federal Government employees, officious job’s-worths at Centrelink, gouging banks, flaky financial-advisors, the Indonesian education system, ungrateful bastards receiving Australian foreign aid in places unheard of for purposes that appear inexplicable, and the criminal classes of Europe and Africa who have been allowed in, never to work again, and have begun new careers in crime.

Apparently this wasn’t an acceptable answer. I ask you: did I misinterpret the question?


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