Hell and the Two Australians

TWO Aussie blokes, Kev and Bruce, die at the same time and find themselves in Hell. The Devil pays them a visit to see how they’re getting on and finds them in shorts and T-shirts, enjoying a BBQ.

“Is this place not hot enough for you?” asks the Devil.

“Mate, we’re from Australia,” says Bruce. “We love the heat. It’s just like a summer’s day.”

Feeling angry, the Devil decides he’ll fix these two and turns the heat up to maximum. Everywhere in Hell, people are wailing and moaning from the heat. Satisfied with the result, the Devil decides to check back on the two Aussies.

He’s furious to find Kev and Bruce flipping snags on the barbie, knocking back a couple of stubbies in their thongs and singlets, laughing and chatting.

“How can you guys be comfortable in this heat?” screams the Devil. “Everyone else in Hell is absolutely miserable but you two are actually enjoying it!”

“Awww come on, mate,” says Kev. “I spent last summer in Darwin. It’s actually nice to have some dry heat for a change.”

The Devil storms off, scheming how to fix these two. After thinking about it for a while he hits on an idea. If the two Aussies love the heat so much, he’s gonna turn it all off, which he does.

After a night without heat, Hell is 40 below. Icicles are hanging off the roof, and if the residents were unhappy about the heat, they are now bitterly miserable from the cold.

Next morning the Devil checks back in on the two Aussies. He finds them jumping for joy, laughing and carrying on like they’re having the time of their lives.

The Devil is beside himself with rage and screams, “WHAT IS GOING ON? How can you two be happy about this?”

“Mate, don’t you know?” Kev says. “Hell’s frozen over! New South Wales must have beaten Queensland in the State of Origin match!”

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