Australian Love Poem

OF course I love ya darlin’ — you’re a bloody top-notch bird.

And when I say you’re gorgeous, I mean every single word. 

So ya bum is on the big side — I don’t mind a bit of flab —

It means that when I’m ready, there’s somethin’ there to grab.

So your belly isn’t flat no more — I tell ya, I don’t care —

So long as when I cuddle ya, I can get my arms round there.

No Sheila who is your age, has nice round perky breasts —

They just gave in to gravity, but I know ya did ya best.

I’m tellin’ ya the truth now — I never tell ya lies —

I think it’s very sexy, that you’ve got dimples on ya thighs.

I swear on me Nanna’s grave now, the moment that we met,

I thought you was as good as, I was ever gonna get.

No matter what you look like, I’ll always love ya dear — 

Now shut up while the cricket’s on, and fetch another beer…