You're Bloody Jokin'

The Three Dares

JOHNNO walks up to the hotel bar, orders a beer and notices a sign on the wall behind the barman that reads, ‘Do the Three Dares & Win $10,000’.

“So, what are the three dares then?” Johnno asks.

“Okay, first dare. See the bouncer at the stairs over there?” asks the barman.

“Yeah”

“Fifth Dan, Black Belt, Karate. You have to beat the crap out of him.”

“Whoa, too tough. Just curious, what’s the second dare?”

Barman, pointing to door beside bar. “Through the door, Rottweiler with a sore tooth. You have to get the tooth out without getting killed, basically.”

“Whoa, real nasty. What about the third dare?”

“See the 85-year-old grandma in the corner over there? You have to have sex with her.”

“Count me right out, I’ll just have the beer, I’m good.”

So Johnno takes the beer to a small table and sits down.

About and hour and a half goes by and by then Johnno has had the odd four or 12 beers. He walks with a slight stagger to the bar, points to the ‘Dares’ sign and says, “I’ll, aaaaah, give it a go.”

“Okay, over at the stairs… bouncer.”

So, Johnno wanders over to the stairs and beats the absolute snot out of the bouncer who has to be stretchered upstairs.
Johnno heads back to the bar and says “Er, next?”

The barman points to the door and says, “Through there… Rottweiler.”

Johnno goes out, closing door behind him, then for about five minutes there’s screaming, howling, barking, thumping, total noise and chaos.

Finally Johnno wanders back in, shirt ripped to shreds and blood running down both arms.

He looks up to the barman and asks, “So, where’s the grandma who wants her tooth pulled?”

CHRIS HILLS

Show More