Life & Death MC Ironfest Bike Show

SATURDAY MORNING it was raining. Not having any wet gear, I decided to take my WAG (Wet Arse Gear) which consists of a spare set of jeans, T-shirt and my cleanest socks at the time. Packing up I couldn’t find my spare pair of jeans. Eventually, they were found in the doghouse serving as bedding for my bull mastiff. After short fight I claimed my jeans back with a few additional holes in both pairs. My photographic gear went in the saddlebags and the WAG on my pillion seat. Now I was ready to ride to Lithgow at the base of the Blue Mountains.

Reaching the peak of Mt. Victoria my penis had shrunk into a tiny ice block. Riding down the other side, it started to melt, and when I finally arrived at the Lithgow Showground, thankfully, it had returned to normal size. The rest of the day was full-on despite the frequent rain.

Ironfest is an arts festival featuring art exhibitions, live music, street performances, historical re-enactments, blacksmith demonstrations, busking competitions, etc. You get the idea. It’s been running for many years but this time the Life & Death MC has participated by organising a bike show within it. There were around 50 bikes displayed this year, including my V-Rod, which is pretty damn good considering the bad weather.

The club had many prizes on offer but the most desired was the People’s Choice award. You see, the blacksmiths were having a competition and the winning piece of art was also the winning prize for lucky bastard who won People’s Choice. Unfortunately, it wasn’t me. I know I should wash my bike at least once a year; I would have a better chance if the judges recognised it as a bike and not a heap of manure left by the horses.

I took many pics of the festivities. The club even organised a cherry picker for me but I couldn’t find any cherries up there. And there were no tits as the event is strictly a family affair.

Some of the girls in the belly dancer exhibition were wearing masks, I guess to prevent their hubbies from finding out they were swinging their hips in public. Anyway, the rest of us got a good idea what it might be like to own a harem. At 3 pm the judging of bikes took place and there was no amount of bribery I could use to persuade the judges to award me the top prize.

After the award ceremony we enjoyed a barbie and drinks. Eventually, however, I headed home. It wasn’t raining this time so my penis experienced just dry frost that could be easily prevented if I’d stopped to untie my WAG but I was too lazy.

I would like to thank Life & Death MC for inviting me to their Ironfest Bike Show. It was a pearl of day.

words & pics by George