TWO terrorists are in a locker room, taking a shower after their bomb making class in Melbourne, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his bum.

“If you don’t mind my asking,” said the second, “but that cork looks uncomfortable. Why don’t you take it out?”

“I regret, I cannot,” lamented the first terrorist. “It is permanently stuck in my bum.”

“I do not understand,” said the other.

The first terrorist says, “I was walking along Russell Street and tripped over an old oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke and a huge old man in an Australian Flag attire, with a white beard and Akubra hat, came boiling out. He said, ‘I am Captain Aussie, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.’

I said, ‘No shit?’”