You’re Bloody Jokin’

Readers send their best jokes too Ozbike

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The Twins Have Names

PADDY’S pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she woke up and saw that she was no longer pregnant. ... Read More...
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The New Car No Man Can Find

RENAULT and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car. Mixing the Renault ‘Clio’ and the Ford ‘Taurus’, they have designed the ‘Clitaurus’. It... Read More...
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Aussie Bush Etiquette

AUSSIE Bush Etiquette is recognised throughout the civilised world but we all need to be reminded from time to time. In General: 1. Never take an open st... Read More...
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The Hammer

THE judge says to a double-homicide defendant, “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.” A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out... Read More...
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The World According to Ozbike

1. IF YOU are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest ... Read More...
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He’ll Eat Anything Monkey

A GUY walked into a bar with a monkey. The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them, then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them. He then jumped o... Read More...
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Wise Italian Grandfather

AN old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, “Guido, I wan’ you lissina me. I wan’ you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will... Read More...
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Sensitive Aussie Guys

THREE Aussie blokes, Mongrel, Coot and Bluey, are working up on an outback mobile phone tower. As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and ... Read More...

Off to Weatherspoon’s Pub

A GROUP of blokes, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Weatherspoon’s pub in Uxbridge because... Read More...

Frustrated Husbands

FRUSTRATED husband in front of his laptop: Dear Google, please do not behave like my wife. Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing and... Read More...

Up & Down Sex

AT A senior citizen’s luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered they both loved to fish. Since both of them wer... Read More...

The Diary Entry

A MAN is writing in his diary: I am an ideal man. I don’t smoke, drink, or go to night clubs. I have always been loyal to my wife and don’t flirt wi... Read More...

The Smelly House

ON THE first day, he sadly packed his belongings Into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things. On ... Read More...

More Great Ozbike Jokes

GREAT OFFER I was banging this nice lady on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!” ... Read More...

A Most Unusual Funeral

A MAN was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he
 noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby
 cemetery. A black hears... Read More...