You’re Bloody Jokin’

Readers send their best jokes too Ozbike

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The Racecourse Visit

TWO female teachers took a group of students from Grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the bath... Read More...
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Nearly shagged a Ladyboy

NEARLY shagged a ladyboy last night. Picked him up in a night club. He looked like a woman. Smelled like a woman. Danced like a woman. Even kissed like a wo... Read More...
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Its a Tortoise Life

AS I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I realised that I don’t really care. It’s the tortoise life for me. 1. If walking/cycling is good ... Read More...
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By Any Other Name

AN elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking,... Read More...
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The Cowboy Doesn’t move

A drunken Texas cowboy lay sprawled across three seats in a posh Waco theatre. When the usher came by, he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only ... Read More...
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News Flash

THE Royal Australian Navy intercepted three boatloads of people off of Christmas Island today. This placed the Navy in an awkward position, as the boats were no... Read More...
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The Wedding Test

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for more than a year and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing... Read More...
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Irish Saw Mill

ONE day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local h... Read More...
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The Twins Have Names

PADDY’S pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she woke up and saw that she was no longer pregnant. ... Read More...
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The New Car No Man Can Find

RENAULT and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car. Mixing the Renault ‘Clio’ and the Ford ‘Taurus’, they have designed the ‘Clitaurus’. It... Read More...
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Aussie Bush Etiquette

AUSSIE Bush Etiquette is recognised throughout the civilised world but we all need to be reminded from time to time. In General: 1. Never take an open st... Read More...
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The Hammer

THE judge says to a double-homicide defendant, “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.” A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out... Read More...
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The World According to Ozbike

1. IF YOU are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest ... Read More...
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He’ll Eat Anything Monkey

A GUY walked into a bar with a monkey. The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them, then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them. He then jumped o... Read More...
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Wise Italian Grandfather

AN old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, “Guido, I wan’ you lissina me. I wan’ you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will... Read More...
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Sensitive Aussie Guys

THREE Aussie blokes, Mongrel, Coot and Bluey, are working up on an outback mobile phone tower. As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and ... Read More...