You’re Bloody Jokin’

Readers send their best jokes to Ozbike

clown at ozbike

The Kilt for the Wedding

TWO Glasgow boys, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock’s forthcoming wedding. “Ach, it’s all going like magic,” says Jock. “I’ve got every... Read More...
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Irish Racism

A customer asked, “In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?” The shop assistant asks, “Are you Irish?” The guy, clearly offended, says, “Yes I am. Bu... Read More...
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Being Politically Correct

APPARENTLY it’s no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority so try this one: An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a We... Read More...
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The Last Census

WOULD you believe it, as a result of the last census, they sent back my form. In answer to the question, ‘Do I have any dependents?’ I answered, ‘Yes’ and l... Read More...
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The Court Hearing

DEFENSE Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened... Read More...
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Honeymoon Nights

A YOUNG couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undress... Read More...
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Blind Golfers Ahead

A PRIEST, an Indian doctor, a rich Chinese business man, and an Aussie were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them. Th... Read More...
the big wave

The Tsunami Wave

GOT a phone call from my mate last night. He had just got back from a day out in Sydney and told me he’d acquired a brand new, top of the range, camera absolute... Read More...
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Cutting the Grass

WHEN OUR lawnmower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow, I always had something else to take care of firs... Read More...
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How I got Divorced

LAST WEEK was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. 

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
 “H... Read More...
clown at ozbike

Retired Husband

AFTER I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get... Read More...